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November 25, 2009
RIP Fuzzy

FAQ updated, and I now have a dog!


Follow me on twitter for updates!


- Follow me on Twitter
- Miley Cyrus' Twitter
(If it's there, Fuzzy is saved!)


Q: Why are you doing this?
A: As previously stated, I was devastated by Miley's decision to quit Twitter. I don't consider myself a fanatic and could live with Miley not tweeting as often as I'd like... but the news of her sudden and abrupt account termination were just too shocking for me to handle. A world without Miley's tweets just seems bleak and pointless to me. The decision to cook Fuzzy was induced by desperation. Miley's tweets to me are like a source of light gone dim. This is the only way I can think of to bring back some of the lost light into my world!

Q: Are you an animal abuser?
A: NO! I would never think of causing Fuzzy any unnecessary pain or discomfort. I have spent days trying to figure out how to put Fuzzy to death by the quickest, most painless means possible. I even considered giving him a sedative. Of course, the idea is to cook a meal, so such sedative must have no impact on taste or toxic levels of Fuzzy's meat.

Q: Aren't you, in fact, blackmailing/bullying Miley into tweeting again?
A: Again, NO! That's definitely not the way I see it! I made the decision to cook my cat, this is something that has impact on my life and Fuzzy's. Miley indeed has the power to put an immediate end to my plans and save Fuzzy's life, but it remains her choice whether to do so. If Miley doesn't care about Fuzzy's fate, she can just ignore us both and move on with her life!

Q: Aren't you worried about legal issues?
A:  Well, naturally I thought of that. As far as I know, I'm not breaking any law. If and when I'm contacted by any legitimate authority, and discover that I am in violation of law, I will consult with professionals and do my best to cooperate and remedy the situation.

After Fuzzy's Demise

Q: How could you eat an animal that has been euthanized? Weren't you affected by the euthanasia drug in Fuzzy's meat?
A: Most euthanasia drugs, such as Pentobarbital, have a short span of activity. Also, their effect mainly depends on the mass of the recipient. Fuzzy's weight was approximately 4.5 kg. The portion of the drug in the parts of his flesh used for Fried Cat Strips was, if at all present, a mere fraction of the total amount injected into his body. Taking our weight differences into consideration, the total effect of this on my physiology was never supposed to be anything other than negligible. As a matter of fact, at the moment I'm feeling perfectly fine and I'm glad to report no aberrations in my health condition, not even an intestinal disorder of any kind! But I do appreciate the concern many of you showed for me!

Q: Look! It's not the same cat! That one had stripes, this one has dots!
A: I'm not even sure how to answer this. It's the same cat, and if you can't see it, well, I'm not sure how I can help you besides suggesting to take a better look, particularly on his face. You may also notice that the camera angles were slightly different. For example, his belly wasn't shown on any of the early pics. In any case, people who claim it's not the same cat are also the people who claim Fuzzy looked abused on his first pics. Like I said, you can't help everyone.

Q: He's just sleeping!
A: I'm sure it's difficult for most of you to fathom what happened, and I figured some people may choose to believe it's just a sleeping Fuzzy. If it makes you sleep better at night, believe what you wish. In a way, Fuzzy is sleeping.

Q: Why haven't you posted any pics of the meal you made? Or any pics of Fuzzy being prepared in the kitchen? Have you chickened out?
A: I didn't want to spell it out for you, but I guess there's no harm in doing that now. I have two words for you: Reasonable doubt.